Mary Ocher

Apart from being an artist, Moscow to Tel Aviv to Berlin transplant Mary Ocher has several talents up her sleeve. She’s also her own manager, booker and record label. Her latest album, Eden, produced by garage guru King Khan, embraces a dazzling spectrum of lo-fi, weird sounds, keeping the outsider torch aflame. We called up the girl with the Coke-bottle glasses and talked memories, regrets and acceptance.

Phone interview by Zofia Ciechowska, photos shot by Artboydancing in Berlin, Germany

“As an artist, I always find it very beautiful that I don’t really need anything”

I saw you play a show wearing a bejewelled bra. Where does your confidence come from?

I struggled with stage fright for years. I used to be that kid who really wanted to be on stage – I went to auditions from the age of five – but I would constantly fail. I never won any competitions or anything. I guess my confidence these days comes from years of putting myself in vulnerable situations where not everything was within my control.

When did you know you wanted to do this?

I was about seven years old when I decided to become an artist. Back then I thought I’d be a painter. I used to draw on the blackboard all the time at school, but at one point a new girl joined our class and it turned out that she was better than me! That’s when I decided to write songs, because I wouldn’t have any competition. I used to record stuff acapella on cassette tapes and then I picked up guitar and keyboard at the age of 14.

Did you listen to a lot of female singers?

When I was growing up I didn’t have any female role models, which now I think was kind of disturbing. I loved Lou Reed, Morrissey, Billy Corgan. They all symbolised these outsiders, loners and misfits. There are women I keep on quoting, like Simone de Beauvoir or Virginia Woolf, who went through the same stuff but unfortunately their voices are perhaps not as loud as their male counterparts. Women are still seen as outsiders by default. I don’t choose my audience by its gender, though. I write about experiences and my personal beliefs. People are free to take it or leave it. I never want to lecture or preach.

Do you have any regrets?

I was caught without a ticket in the Berlin underground about four years ago, and it turned into an epic trauma. It’s the only thing I truly regret in my life. I couldn’t really communicate with the ticket controllers because they didn’t speak English. I think I only made them angrier by trying to get them to have some mercy. Eventually the guards called the police and told them that I’d physically assaulted them, which did not happen. I was taken to a police station where they filed a report that I didn’t understand and couldn’t contradict. A year later I got a letter saying I needed to go to court. It turned out that in the report they said I’d bitten one of them. I had no witnesses to even prove that they were wrong. I ended up having to pay an enormous fine, but I did community service instead. I’m pretty sure the guys had a bad day and I was just unlucky.

What really matters to you at the end of the day?

As a human being, acceptance. I feel very comfortable right now, because I have a lot of friends who I can trust and I think that is something to be proud of. As an artist, I always find it very beautiful that I don’t really need anything. I just need a piece of paper and something to write with. If I have a bit more space, I’ll take an instrument and compose with that. I simply need to be alive in order to create! I’ve also learned that it’s possible to travel for weeks with just a small bag with toothpaste, a hairbrush, red lipstick, five pairs of underwear and socks – and maybe a few T-shirts…

Mary plays WORM, Rotterdam on 20 December and De Nieuwe Anita, Amsterdam the next day. Both shows are with White Fence guitarist Fictional Boys, and free for Subbacultcha! members.